And this one that aligns itself with the creepy comment:
And maybe even this one, that uses k-10094 to censor me:
I also want to continue to make A.S.S. jokes about Adopter Savior Syndrome as an urgent health epidemic that should be interrogated and probed by an entire task force of scholars, healthcare professionals, policy makers, and concerned citizens. I also want to call White adoptive parents to join Adoptees in resisting systemic oppression by organizing groups such as Adopter Network United for Solidarity (A.N.U.S) or Families Embracing Collective Active Love (F.E.C.A.L). However, I am guessing this will only inflame, so I shall instead share some context to the importance of A.S.S. awareness.
As a member of the adoption community who is committed to loving and sustainable multiracial families, I am deeply troubled by the current trend of Adopters and incompetent healthcare professionals diagnosing adopted children with attachment disorders that further diminish the Adoptee's agency, while re-directing attention from systemic oppression to an individual pathology. Therefore, both for my personal liberation and in solidarity with my fellow Adoptees, I constructed Adopter Savior Syndrome. A.S.S. is actually an acute diagnosis of a larger societal power dynamic that positions White adoptive parents as agents of racial violence against their adopted children of color.
Adopter Savior Syndrome is not intended to be an accusation against individual adoptive parents. Thus, I invite you to put down your defenses. I am not calling you an A.S.S.
Lori Jane, I want to thank you for bringing up the important topic of attachment disorder. We need to ask critical questions to this diagnosis and how it is being applied to adoptive children who do not meet racialized ideals of love and 'normality'. Critical attention is much needed, so thank you!
ReplyDeleteThere comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE...Getting back up is LIVING...Have a great life.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so this is really important what you're posting about and I'd like to understand you more fully... do you think it's always a bad thing for white people to adopt babies/children of other races internationally? If not, how would we make sure we're doing it right... It's just, I'm gay and I know I want kids some day. I want to do this stuff right. I don't want to harm anyone... Would it be better just to adopt within the US? Or are there good international adoption organizations/ways to adopt? Is the main problem the adoption itself or treatment of children thereafter? Sorry...
ReplyDeleteHi Hello722,
DeleteI can't speak for LoriJane, but here's my nickel.
I understand your dilemma, but I think you're approaching adoption the wrong way, a way that is insulting to many adoptees, whether you mean to be or not.
I, an adoptee, and many child welfare advocates, feel that adoption/orphanages, foster homes, other countries, etc. shouldn't be a shopping mall for grown people to find children. Adoption should be about finding loving families for children who truly, truly are in need of such a family - after other options for the children have been exhausted. For many who are "available" for adoption, adoption is not their best choice. Too often, "available" children could remain with their original families if their parents were given a bit more support.
If you want to love and help children, then perhaps you could help children to be raised by their original parents, relatives, community with fewer traumatic disruptions. You wouldn't become a "parent", but again, that is NOT the objective of adoption.
Disclosure: I'm not gay. My afather is and many of my friends are. I supported him when he came out and he has been my greatest afamily ally as I've worked through my own adoption. I have friends who are dealing with infertility or who may in the future. I'm supportive of their situation, but NO ONE will ever get advice from me on how to adopt a child so they can become a parent. My friends know or will learn never to ask me for that advice. There are too many injustices against children, human beings, and families, and secrets and lies for me to encourage adoption.
I feel so stupid for thinking so selfishly about adoption... Thank you Kym and thank you so much Lori Jane for opening my eyes.
DeleteBe sure not to have children if you are gay! After all, you can't have children naturally so they would be "bought children." If these children have problems later in life, it's your fault, right? Agree with the other anonymous poster. Be careful with your judgements.
ReplyDelete[Be sure not to have children if you are gay! After all, you can't have children naturally so they would be "bought children."]
ReplyDeleteThat's beside the point - no one "needs" children.
LoriJane,
ReplyDeleteI love your acronyms! Thanks for making me chuckle. So refreshing compared to the agony we hear adoptive parents have to endure.