Despite living here for just three months, I find myself leaving home and family on this trip to the United States. I have too many feelings messing with my ability to construct a coherent argument that would position my lived experience with international adoption within the historical context of Korea's colonization by Japan, division into communist North and capitalist South, and present occupation by the United States government in order to survive the violence of capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy that has chased me from the day that I was born. Therefore, this will be a brief and poorly-written post.
I am overwhelmed with sadness when I realize that I am leaving this community of overseas Korean adoptees. I don't yet have the words to fully express how much love I have for this defiant group of Korean Adoptees who came together within the same world that cast us aside and continues to fail us.
I will most miss engaging in community irreverence towards all the forces that tell us to be grateful for being adopted. I am not lucky. I am a symptom of systemic oppression. More times than not, I feel like no one understands us. Even those who love us most have been misinformed on how to practice love with us. Not only that, we were scattered and denied our native language so that we would always stay lost. Now we found each other, but only for this moment.
And now I am reminding myself to breathe when I think about the details of each day after next Saturday. No more snack bar in Kira's room. Early morning breakfast with Cookie. Lisa's stories at lunch and dinner. Non-prescription drugs and ginger cookies from Ilona. French fries and beer at Edith's mom's house*. Visiting Edith's dad* at Family Mart. Edith's hand. Teasing Tom about soccer practice*. Toast and basketball practice*. Daily trips to Lotteria for hot cocoa and soft cones. Getting locked in the laundry room. Getting locked out of class. Picnics. Cola 한나, Tomato, Sneaky Swede, Il-OWL-na, Gagie, Iced Coffee, and J-town. And of course, all the Jennifer-isms*: chinguZ, basketball practice, soccer practice, Edith's mom's house, Edith's dad. Smörgåsbord.
These farewells have come too soon. I am going to miss you too much.